Winging It
by Theonewhodidnotdoit
Summary: The newest season of Smash Brothers, the interdimensional fighting championship, is upon us, and as the contestants fight both in and out of the ring, an unlikely couple forms... PitxSamus, because I love the pairing, and rated M because I don't know for certain how the rating system works.
1. Chapter 1

**Winging It**

**Hello and welcome, fans of all things PitxSamus! This is my contribution to what is pretty much my favourite pairing ever. The title refers not to the storyline, but to my complete lack of ideas and/or coherent plotline! (Also for the pun) Suggestions are not only helpful, but necessary! (If you're reading this, I'm talking to **_**you**_**, RedheadRenegade!) I have enough ideas to get a few chapters going, but I must warn you, this fic takes second priority to my other one, Shade and a Vampire, and I update that roughly monthly. (Go check it out if you're a fan of Rosario+Vampire)**

**(By the way, I will be making up move sets, some characters, and courses, since this fic is set in Ultimate. If I turn out to be right, then whoopee! If not, then please don't pick me up on it.)**

**(Also, I have only played Metroid Fusion. Any and all Samus data is from the wiki or other fics.)**

**So, yeah. I should stop talking your ears/microphones/xenohomologous hearing appendages off. Let's get started!**

High above the clouds, veiled to mortal eyes, Skyworld floated serenely. Polished Marble pantheons and columns almost glowed in the soft sunlight. It was, quite literally, heaven. The glorious collection of floating islands was quiet, after its recent victory over the Underworld Army. A single angel, the captain of the guard, had defeated the God of the Underworld, one of the strongest forces in the divine Pantheon. The ruler of the realm, the Goddess Palutena, was helping to prepare his reward. More fighting. For such a sweet thing, he was incredibly violent. They stood just outside her gleaming temple, checking his luggage.

"Ok, Pit, are you _sure_ you've got everything?"

"This time, definitely." Palutena smiled down at her little angel. He held a small suitcase, given to him by a mortal he had saved in the final battle, having put himself in the place of a shot that would have destroyed a number of homes. Palutena had helped him pack, but it _still_ hadn't worked. He had forgotten everything at least once.

"Really?" she grinned. "What about this?" She held up a small brown object.

"NO!" shouted Pit, lunging forward and clutching it to his chest. A few passing centurions glanced their way, but soon resumed their duties. Pit watched them go, and then released the object from his chest. "How did you know?" he asked, looking down at the scruffy brown teddy bear in his hands.

"Oh, come on Pit." She laughed. "All-seeing eye, remember?"

"I wanted to leave him here this time…" mumbled Pit. "I had a few close calls last time."

"That's all right Pit." She said, reaching out for the old bear. Pit gave it to her, and she tucked it away. She looked down at the blush on his young face, and her heart almost melted. "Awwwww." She cooed. "Look at you, growing up…" She bent down and pinched his cheek.

"Lady Palutena…" he groaned, gently pulling her hand off. "Please, not in front of the troops…" She smiled.

"Okay, Pit." A small beeping sound emanated from her pocket. "Oh, looks like your ride should be showing up right about… now."

Right on cue, the sky tore in two, a massive violet fissure in the air. Out of it, along with some _very_ loud Heavy Metal music, came a large black London Taxi. It flew in a rather erratic arc down to the pair, landing a few meters away. The music cut out, and one tinted window wound down.

Out of it leaned two large white gloved fingers, waving madly.

"COOO-EEEE! OOOOVER HEEEERE!" Yelled Crazy Hand.

"Oh dear." Sighed Palutena. "Okay, then Pit. I'll see you in a few months."

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" he asked. She smiled. Always so considerate.

"It's okay. Pittoo can fill in for you if need be. He just needs the right incentive…"

"If you say so."

"COME ON PEOPLE, LET'S MOVE IT!" Yelled the insane glove, tapping the door of the taxi with one finger.

"Just a minute!" Palutena shouted back. "Have you got your new tricks?" Pit smiled and tapped the golden circle on his toga.

"Yup. Looking forward to using it." He began to move towards the taxi, Twisting his body to wave. "Goodbye Lady Palutena!"

"Goodbye Pit! Remember, no drinking!" He smiled and got into the cab. Crazy Hand let out a shriek of joy.

"YAY! Alright, where to, guv'nor?"

"Smash Manor!" Pit shouted back, almost as enthusiastic as Crazy hand was.

"YIPPEE!" Yelled Crazy Hand. He began to wind up the window. Pit noticed a small note stuck to the back of Crazy Hand's seat. He peered at the elegant handwriting, trying to read the overly elaborate font.

_I cannot stress how much I would recommend you use a seatbelt. Yours sincerely, Master Hand._

Pit clicked the seatbelt into the fastener just in time. The deranged left hand sitting in front of him released the winder, settled into position in the specially adapted seat and screamed:

"VEGAS OR BUST, BABY!" He jabbed the accelerator with one finger, and Pit felt his body sink into the seat's back as the car accelerated to extreme speeds in the space of half a second. The car shot into the air, back into the rift from which it came, and zoomed through the flashing lights of the interdimensional void. They were moving so fast, Pit couldn't move a muscle. He managed to stammer out:

"G-FORCE….I-IN MY FAAAAAAAAAACE!" Crazy Hand managed to shout even louder:

"YAAAHOOO!"

Suddenly the acceleration stopped and Pit was thrown forward, his face stopping an inch short of the seat in front. The seatbelt pulled him back, and he silently thanked Master Hand. Crazy Hand pressed a button, and let go of the wheel, reaching over to the other seat to grab something. He suddenly twisted, seeming to look at Pit.

"Wanna beer, kid?" he asked, holding a large bottle he had just retrieved from an icebox between finger and thumb. Pit looked at the bottle, then at the two-meter-tall hand offering it.

"No thanks." He said.

"Suit yourself." replied the hand, placing it back in the icebox with a sort of shrugging movement. He then pressed the autopilot button again, switched on the Heavy Metal, and jabbed the accelerator. Pit was thrown back again, stuck in place while the hand screamed at the top of his lungs…

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Master Hand floated outside the doors to Smash Manor, waiting for the arrival of the contestants. He looked around at the garden he had prepared, and double-checked the protective spell he had placed on it to stop his brother from wrecking it again. Then he went back to waiting.

He snapped his fingers a few times. He cracked his knuckles. He discovered that things were never really as much fun when no one was there, even if he didn't like it at the time.

"Oh, Crazy…" he muttered. Then he heard Heavy Metal music. "Speak of the Devil…" he said, smiling inwardly.

The familiar rift opened, and out of it came the taxi. It flew down, music blaring, and managed to stop just a few inches short of the flowerbeds. Crazy Hand got out of the car, and opened the door for Pit.

"Greetings… Master Pit?" Master Hand peered into the cab, looking for other Smashers. Pit's brow furrowed.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing of your concern, Master Pit." Sighed Master Hand. He turned to Crazy Hand, who was looking temptedly at the flowers, clenching and unclenching his fist. "Brother!"

"PANCAKES! Oh, yes?" He said.

"Where are the others?"

"Other whats?"

"The other smashers…"

"Oh, yeah! I was gonna get them… but then there was this evil sorcerer and a bunch of kittens and…"

"You forgot them, didn't you?"

"I dunno…" Crazy Hand traced a circle in the dirt.

"Go and get them then… And remember to expand the cabin. Bowser obtained a neck injury last time he rode in there."

"Okey dokey!" Crazy Hand walked to the cab, and Pit followed Master Hand into the Mansion.

"Twin brothers, eh?" he joked.

"You have no idea…" replied the massive appendage.

"So, is anyone else here yet?"

"You are the first one to arrive, yes, but I believe another Smasher is here."

"Cool! I'll go say hello!"

"Wait-!" Master Hand called, but to no avail. Pit had already sprinted off. Master Hand's outstretched fingers relaxed. He chuckled to himself. The angel was incredibly, some may even say insufferably, upbeat. That would annoy some people, but… He had been a Smasher once already, and currently the only enemies he had made were with the villains, and they didn't like anyone. Newcomers might feel assured by the friendly veteran, and then again, he wasn't that hard to manage. A good supply of floor ice cream and he was happy as a pig in mud.

Master Hand sighed as he remembered the current situation. He could handle himself in a fight, but the angel was always slightly annoying, even towards the friends he had made. And the person he was rushing off to greet was hardly the most tolerant.

Behind him, he heard two successive noises. The first was the sort of noise made by a giant hand jumping on some flowerbeds, and the second the sort of noise made by someone who had just been electrocuted.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Pit strolled into the main living area in Smash Manor, looking for the other Smasher. He opened the door, taking in the view. Ornate chandeliers, a plush red carpet, a widescreen TV, and several sofas. Sitting at one of the sofas was Samus Aran, the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy. Her long blond hair was tied up in a ponytail as usual, but instead of the zero suit, she wore a loose top and sweat-pants. She was tinkering with a few pieces of electronics, her Power Suit lying prone on the coffee table in front of her. She was currently holding a circuit board to the light, examining connections, with her head laying against the top of the sofa. The door was on the opposite end of the room to the TV, so she hadn't seen him yet.

"Hi!" called Pit, a little louder than necessary. Samus cried out in shock, dropping the circuit board. Pit darted forward, dropping his suitcase and grabbing the small green chip. "Don't worry, I go…" He looked down just in time to see her pointing her blaster at him.

"Aah! Whoa! Hah! Oop!" Pit jumped around randomly, managing to dodge every shot. He vaguely wondered why she was still shooting. "SAMUS! It's me, Pit!"

Something clicked in the bounty huntress' mind. She stopped shooting, and looked at the boy. He had his hands on his knees, panting, gasping thanks at her. He looked up, and Samus' heart practically melted. He was so _cute_! Chocolate-brown hair, big blue eyes, indelible smile and fluffy white wings. Memories floated into her mind of the Brawl tournament. A mildly annoying but extremely amiable angel that even managed to give Link a run for his money on the fangirl front. She hadn't talked to him much, but _damn_, he was adorable.

She barely noticed that he was holding out the circuit board. He started looking a little awkward, and glanced down at it. This broke the spell, and Samus' inner femininity disappeared. She blushed a bit, and took the circuit board.

"Don't sneak up on me like that." She said, perhaps a little too gruffly.

"Won't happen again." He laughed. He ran a hand through his hair, and went back to get his suitcase." She returned to the sofa, and began packing up her equipment, putting everything back in a toolbox.

He lugged the suitcase over and sat on the sofa next to her. She glanced up at him, still smiling after a dice with death.

"Um…" she said. "Sorry… I guess?"

"No harm done!" he said in a sprightly tone.

"So… is anyone else here yet?"

"Nope. Crazy Hand forgot everyone else." He tilted his head. "Hey… how'd you get here?" Samus blushed again.

"I… never really left…" she muttered.

"Huh?"

"There wasn't anything to do back in my universe… No one needed me… So Master Hand let me stay here, to train."

"Bet you've done a lot of target practice, huh?" Samus grinned.

"Enough to be able to hit you while you're flying around, wing-boy." Pit grinned back.

"Care to test that? You're not the only person with a few new tricks." Samus looked down to her suit, and reattached the circuit board she had dropped. Immediately it started to hum, and the visor lit up. She looked back at Pit.

"Master Hand hasn't got any of the proper battlefields up and running yet, but there's a blank slate with some obstacles and platforms we could use. Just give me half an hour to get everything back up to my room."

"Aw, don't worry about that! You still in the room next to mine?" Samus raised an eyebrow.

"Yes… Why?"

"Because this!" Pit pulled out his Wings of Pegasus charm, tapped it, piled all of Samus' things on his shoulders and flew off on his now brilliantly glowing wings.

Samus watched him go. For someone so short, he was awfully strong. He returned a minute later, and grabbed the Power Suit with one arm, and his own suitcase in the other.

"See ya in the arena!" he yelled as he rocketed up the stairs again.

Samus sat there, dazed, confused, and inexplicably happy, for a moment, then followed him up.

**Yay for UNNECESSARY CAPITALISATION and Kid Icarus Uprising references! So, yeah! Hope you liked this chapter, because there is more to come! Hopefully soon! Maybe!**

**(By the way, this is the longest single chapter I have ever written! Can I get a clap? No? Okay, then… *Sniffle*)**

**Nah, just kidding. BTW, what do you think of my Samus personality? As you can see, I have only played Fusion, in which you get, like three cutscenes. Sorry if she's a little OOC, but that's just how I roll!**

**Finally, please drop a review or three, as that's all I'm really in this for. Yeah, call me an attention-seeker all you want. No-one does in real life, so ALL PRAISE THE INTERWEB!**

**(PS: Please don't think I'm a moron for having a catchphrase at the end of every chapter. I don't even know why I do it! I haven't written a single crime fic!)**

**Theonewhodidnotdoit leaves the scene…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Winging It Chapter 2**

**Hello, everyone. I did warn you about the update time, but I'm back now, and here's the next chapter of my most impulsive and (probably) least original story to date!**

Pit waited for Samus in the battle room, sitting on a spectator's seat and looking out through the glass at the plain, grassy plain dotted with rocks that was to be their battlefield. His Palutena Bow sat on the He traced the edge of the clasp on his toga, smiling at the thought of the look on her face when he showed off his 'new tricks'. Having a new adventure could do wonders for a moveset.

Then, his thoughts began to drift towards her face in general. Sure, she was pretty, _everyone_ knew that, (especially Snake and Captain Falcon) but there was something about her that was just… more alluring… Crystal blue eyes, golden hair, a beautiful, but all-too-rare smile…

"_Goddess…_" Pit thought. "_If she could read my mind, she'd probably kill me… She can't do that… right? _" He was jarred from his thoughts by the sound of the door whooshing open behind him. He jumped, quickly hopping to his feet and turning round.

Samus was in her Power suit, towering above Pit. The great metal behemoth would inspire terror into most people, but not this one. He simply looked up at her and smiled awkwardly.

Through the green tint of her visor, she smiled back.

"Ready to lose?" she taunted. Pit's smile grew wider, and lost its embarrassed look.

"Bring it!" he shouted, grabbing his bow and sprinting into one of the teleporters. Samus shook her head, and walked over to the opposite teleporter. She stood in front of it, stretching her muscles a little. Pit was one of the fastest Smashers, outclassed only by a few, such as Meta Knight. He had a very versatile style as well, being able to juggle close and long-range very quickly…

But she had been doing this a lot longer than he had. She stepped into the teleporter.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Crazy Hand beat his knuckles furiously against the steering wheel of his taxi, in much the same manner that a person would beat their head. Behind him sat the assorted Smashers, sat down in the now elongated taxi, which now more resembled a limousine. They were idly chatting, getting to know each other. He had picked up almost everyone, from Mario to Wii Fit Trainer, and on the last hurdle, he had run into traffic, hence the knuckle-beating. The horn was beginning to protest, the honk becoming weaker with every beat.

"WHY MUST YOU OBSTRUCT US SO, CARS?! ALL I WANT IS TO JUMP ON THE SPARKLE-FLOWERS!" He slumped over the dashboard, not moving.

One of the new Smashers, Chrom, leaned over to Link, and asked:

"Does he usually do that?" The green-clad swordsman sighed.

"All the time."

"Should we give him a poke?"

"No. He'd start punching people." Chrom turned to his friend, Robin.

"Any bright ideas?"

"One." The Tactician replied. He reached over the back of his seat, and looked at Pikachu, who was curled up on a seat next to a Zoroark, happily sleeping. His cheeks sparked every once in a while. Robin gently picked up the pokémon, and placed him on top of Crazy Hand. Then he said, loudly, so everyone could hear,

"Fasten your seatbelts and plug your ears, everyone."

Pikachu sparked, and Crazy Hand spasmed. He slowly rose. Pikachu jumped off, landing on Link's lap in the seat behind. Crazy Hand coughed, as if to make an announcement. Then he screamed, in a voice that would have made the deaf cover their ears:

"SPARKLE-FLOWERS, I'M COMING FOR YOU!" He span the wheel, jetting out of the queue, and began to accelerate in a different direction, laughing like a maniac all the way.

"Where are we going?" yelled Peach from the back.

"SHORTCUT!" Crazy Hand yelled back.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Pit opened his eyes. He was on the battlefield. The familiar feeling of adrenaline he got before a fight was coursing through his veins. He felt the air on his skin, the ground beneath his feet, and the weapon in his hands. He glanced across the battlefield. Samus materialised, and landed on the ground. She held her arm cannon out in front of her. It whined as it charged up, ready for combat.

"No hard feelings in advance, kid!" She shouted across the map. He laughed. Goddess, how old was he now… definitely not a kid.

"Likewise." The countdown began, and their talking stopped immediately.

Three…

Pit's grip on his bow tightened.

Two…

Samus fingered the trigger of her laser.

One…

Both stared down the other.

Zero!

This was what they both lived for.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Master Hand was still staring at the ruined flower beds. If he had a mouth, it would have been wide open. He clenched his fist in anger, then released it. He new better than try to change Crazy. To do that after living with him for millennia, someone would have to be even more deranged than he was.

Once again, the rift opened, an the now considerably larger taxi emerged, landing on the turf. Master Hand produced a clipboard, and waited by the door.

The first thing that emerged was an extremely nauseous-looking Mario. He glanced pleadingly at Master Hand, and was awarded with a bucket. Master Hand made a note on his clipboard to reduce the maximum speed. He marked off every contestant one at a time, and floated there, looking satisfied. Then he noticed one empty box. He went over to Crazy Hand, who was rolling around in the now truly deceased flowerbeds, giggling like a child.

"Crazy?"

"Eeheehee... Yes?"

"Where is Megaman?"

"Who? Oh, the robot guy! Yeah, well there was a traffic jam on the way to the Digital Dimension…"

"Do continue…"

"Yeah, and I kinda took a shortcut… but don't worry! He's here."

"Where?"

"Here!" Crazy Hand raced over to the taxi, now reduced in size, and opened the glove compartment. He reached in, and produced a small plastic item. He held it up in the air, mimicking a certain Hero.

"DA DA DA DAAAAAA!" He yelled. "You found a..."

"Give me that." Said Master Hand, snatching it away before Link could notice the horrible parody. He looked at it. It was a USB stick.

"Crazy." He said, still looking (Or appearing to be looking) at the small piece of technology. "Are you telling me… That the consciousness of one of our contestants… Is trapped… Inside this stick?!"

"Ummm… Yeah?" Master Hand took a deep breath.

"I shall deal with you later." He turned towards the assembled Smashers. "Welcome to Smash Manor! This is when I would give you the guided tour, but I am afraid that _somebody_…" He glared at Crazy Hand, who tried to bury himself in the soil. "Has trapped Megaman inside this USB. So, I am afraid you will have to suffice with a demonstration of what will be coming soon! Please place your bags in the hallway and make your way to the Battle room. I understand that Master Pit and Miss Aran are presently having a little practice match."

A few men's eyes lit up at the sound of that. Samus fighting, equals Zero Suit. Zero suit equals something you would normally have to pay to see. The fighters walked in through the main doors, leaving the two brothers alone. Master Hand looked at Crazy.

"Traffic?"

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Pit dodged a missile and dived for cover behind a rock. He was covered in dirt, and had a few cuts and scrapes, but was relatively undamaged. He was also grinning like a loon.

He hadn't used any of his new moves yet, but he had managed to infuriate Samus anyway. He was _a lot_ faster now. Dodging and ducking most of her shots. He had managed to score some decent hits as well, but now she was getting plain angry. And boy, did Samus look terrifying when angry. He clicked both halves of his bow together, and leaned over the top of the boulder to fire a few shots. One connected, and caused a scratch on the power suit's outer shell. She looked at it, then at him. He gulped, and ducked behind the boulder. Samus fired a missile, and the boulder turned to rubble. Pit was thrown to the ground, completely vulnerable. Samus raised her cannon, but a sudden glow put off her aim. She looked up. The Smash ball had appeared. She leapt up, screw attacked it, and dropped to the ground, behind the recovering Pit.

He looked at her, and his eyes widened. She pulled the trigger.

The massive beam of energy that was the zero laser ripped across the stage, right towards Pit. He reached for the Mirror Shield… And brought it up just in time. He felt the massive power of the attack from behind the wall of enchanted metal, and felt the usually ice-cool metal turn scalding. He gritted his teeth and held on, feeling the energy lessen around him. He dropped the shield, sprinting forward towards Samus, whose suit was now crumbling around her. She was defenseless. Time to use the clasp.

Pit tapped the circle of gold, and his bow immediately dissolved into the air. He held his right arm back, and golden particles began to swirl around it, forming a shining gauntlet, followed by a series of red and blue, forming one of Pit's new weapons: the Upperdash Arm. Samus pulled off the dead helmet of the power suit just in time to see the spinning wheel of death smash into her chest.

She went flying, landing on the other side of the stage. She shakily got to her feet, grimacing from the devastating attack. She looked at Pit, offering a weak smile for a well-executed strategy. But all she got back was a horrified stare.

Pit threw his weapon in front of his face and began shouting at the top of his voice:

"OHMYGODDESSSAMUSIMSOSORRYPLEASEDONTKILLME!" Samus frowned at the panicking angel. Then she heard a wolf whistle from the spectator's area. Captain Falcon and Snake were pressed up against the glass as if Ridley was standing behind them. She turned back to Pit, who was still screaming apologies and pleading for his life, only for her gaze to be caught by a flash of colour. A scrap of blue, spandex-like material was lying on the ground. It fluttered in the wind, and Samus felt the wind on her chest.

Her bare chest.

Immediately, she screamed, dropping her weapons and flinging her arms across her body. Her vision turned red, and she began screaming death threats at Pit. Snake and Falcon were rolling around on the floor of the battle room laughing.

Pit began backing away from Samus, trying to escape the enraged blond, only to trip over something. He looked down. A Maxim Tomato! Picking up the miracle fruit with one hand, and shielding his eyes with the other, he inched towards the murderous-looking bounty huntress. He held out the tomato, cringing away from her in case her anger got the better of her pride. He felt it leave his grasp, followed by a short munching sound. He lowered his weapon hand, to see the now-fully-clothed Samus staring blankly at him. He gave a hopeful smile, praying to Palutena she wouldn't kill him outright.

To his relief, she smiled back. Then, practically set to a soundtrack, she reached out, and began to strangle him. He forgot all about the quarter-ton lump of metal on his arm, and simply tried to escape. He aimed a desperate kick at her legs, but he found that his legs were too short, slipping over. This ended up with Samus straddling him, whilst trying to squeeze the life from his body, much to the continued amusement of Snake and Falcon.

"S-samus…" he managed to sputter out. "Please…"

"_**Just make it easier on yourself and die quickly**_…" She snarled through her teeth. Darkness began to creep up on the edges of Pit's vision. He could feel life slipping away… His life flashed before his eyes, and at the end of it all, a light…

"_Wait._" He thought, with the last vestiges of his mind. "_That's a Smash Ball!_"

He released his one free hand from Samus' to tap his clasp again. The Upperdash arm became a long, wooden rifle, which he aimed as accurately as he could, with the immense distractions he was currently dealing with. The blackness had all but completely covered his vision when a simple sound saved him.

Smash.

The dreaded noise snapped Samus from her rage, allowing Pit the opening he needed to kick her off. His angelic strength, although greatly weakened, managed to throw her a few metres away. He staggered to his feet, gasping for air. Samus had already vaulted to her feet, and was ready to dodge centurion attacks.

What she didn't know was that new weapons weren't the only moves Pit had gained.

With all the breath he had left, Pit yelled:

"Great Sacred Treasure… ACTIVATE!"

Instantly, intricate pulsing blue lines began to appear around Pit, and he began to float into the air. A pure white orichalcum chassis materialized around him, flying on two massive jet engines. It was more than twice the size of Samus' ship, and even more heavily armed. The ancient, unwavering face carved into the cockpit did not move as the great metal behemoth pointed one massive gun at Samus, but it's occupant did.

"Sorry…" muttered Pit.

For Samus, there was a light as bright as the sun, and then darkness.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Back in the Battle room, everyone looked, slack-jawed, at the massive machine that had just obliterated Samus. Even Snake and Falcon had stopped laughing. Then, there was a hiss, as the teleporter door on their left opened. Out stomped Samus, who had never looked more thunderous. She walked right up to Snake, punched him in the gut, then passed straight by him and smashed Falcon in the face with the butt of her Paralyser. Both fell on the floor, nursing broken bones. She passed right by everyone else, and left the room. No words were needed.

The other Teleporter opened, and out poked the head of an extremely nervous-looking, mousy haired angel. He looked at the two injured men, then to the crowd.

"Run and Hide?" He asked. There was a group nod.

"Run and Hide."

**ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTT! It's up! Personally, I'm feeling pretty insecure about this one, but if any of you like it, who cares!?**

**Firstly, I would like to thank Burning Light and Crystal, for following and faving this, and adding it to the PitxSamus community. Even though it doesn't look like it at the moment, there will be a positive relationship! (PS: Your Bio is **_**hilarious.**_**)**

**And who could forget about Ruler Of Existance! Thanks for the Fave!**

**And finally, a great big thank you to everybody who reviewe- Oh. Nobody reviewed. Did I come over as too peppy and annoying? I'll stop, if you want. *Serious face***

**Look, guys. The only reason I do this is because I love community feedback. Positive or negative, I don't care. Good, I can keep doing what you like. Bad, I can stop it from happening again.**

**Look, all I'm trying to say is please review. Say anything! Literally!**

**Okay, well I'm off to cry myself to sleep. Byee!**

**(PPS: I decided to stop using the signature. I thought it makes me look like a twat.)**

**(PPPS: It's now M for safety. I didn't describe the nudity, but I don't want to take any chances.)**

**Theonewhodi- No… No… I don't do that any more.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Winging It Chapter 3**

**I'm back! Once again, sorry about the time, and once again, I did warn you! So, yeah! **

**Actually, first I'd like to apologise. I feel like I was being a little needy last chapter. I just like being told how I'm doing, so I can make this as good as possible. **

**Anyway, time to get back to the deadly game of hide-and-seek!**

Samus stomped up the stairs to the second floor where the dormitories were, almost steaming with anger. She slammed her key into the hole and burst into her room. She glared at the neat pile of tools Pit had taken up, and walked past them to her dresser. She opened it, and was greeted by the welcome sight of two spare Zero Suits and a lot more guns. She began pulling them out, inspecting each one and deciding which ones would be the most painful. She decided on a large, bulky shotgun that fired incinerating lasers. Master Hand had banned it from use in competition due to it being "overpowered". She began taking it apart, inspecting each diode, gas tube and coolant pipe with well-practised efficiency. Once she was satisfied that it wouldn't fail at a critical moment, she reassembled it and was about to walk out of the door when she spotted a pure white feather on the ground. She smiled maliciously to herself. This would be all too easy.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Link."

"Hmm?" The swordsman looked up from his lunch to see the barrel of a very large gun, being held by a very determined-looking woman. Some of the others he had been talking to, Chrom, Toon Link, and Luigi, began to speak but were silenced by a steely glare. Link looked levelly at her, undeterred.

"Where is he?" Link sighed.

"Samus, it was an accident…"

"I can't let something like that go unpunished."

"Look, he came in here for a few minutes to grab some food, then left. Seriously, you don't have to do this. Kid was beating himself up about it enough." Samus growled and turned to walk out of the canteen. She ran into Bowser, who respectfully shuffled out of the way. Chrom leaned over to Link.

"Is _she_ usually like this?" Link pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Yes…"

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Out in the corridors of the manor, Samus was leaning against a wall, inspecting the feather. It was pure white, soft as snow, and seemingly delicate, but when she tried shooting it, the shots reflected straight off.

"_Centre of mass_." She noted to herself. She began silently stalking the hallways, looking for another feather. She soon found one. And another. They seemed to be getting more frequent. "_Maybe stress causes moulting?_" she mused to herself, before quickly dismissing the thought as she saw something quickly round the corner in front of her. Another feather drifted through the air, seemingly a taunt. One that Samus would repay.

She sprinted forward, sliding round the corner and pointing the gun at…

Kirby.

The small pink blob was quivering in front of her, both stubby arms raised in surrender. In one, it carried a small bundle of feathers, and in the other, a half-eaten tub of ice cream. Some of it was smeared over his face. Samus heard a click she recognised from old war movies back in her universe. The sound of an old-fashioned gun being cocked.

"Drop it, and turn around very slowly, please." Pit's voice came from behind her. She did as she was told, scowling at the pink powerhouse. It clattered to the ground. Kirby began to inhale, sucking in her weapon, then the rest of the ice cream, and finally the feathers. He grew two tiny wings, and fluttered off as fast as he could.

Turning to face her prey in a bizarre turn of events, she began staring past the barrel of the Bullet Blade at the extremely nervous-looking angel before her.

"Well played." She said, with no hint of a smile.

"I don't want to be doing this…" He moaned. Samus noted that the gun was still stock still. There was no chance of getting out of this her way. He was too good for that.

"Then why are you? Just let me beat the hell out of you and we can all go home."

"Oh come on… It was an accident! I said sorry, didn't I?"

"I have a reputation to uphold."

"And you already have! Snake and Falcon are in the infirmary, for crying out loud, and the fights haven't even started yet!" Samus thought about that for a bit. No one was going to mess with her after that, but still…

"Look, Angel-Face…"

"_Oh, goddess, she's sounding just like Magnus…_" Pit thought.

"… I can't just let you walk out of here without some serious injuries. Point of principle."

"Pleeeeeeaaase?" Pit's eyes began to widen, and his lip quivered. Samus' steely resolve cracked under the pressure of the puppy-eyes. She forced herself to look at the weapon, but it didn't help. She winced, hating to show weakness.

Suddenly he stopped, and his face lit up. "Hey! I've got an idea!" He dropped the gun, and Samus instantly lunged forward to grab him, but he wasn't there any more. He had moved to the nearest wall, standing right by it with both palms against it. He looked over his shoulder at Samus, who looked confused. "This good enough?" he asked.

Then, with an almighty crack, he smashed his head into the wallpapered-stone wall, leaving a massive gaping hole. Even Samus, who was usually not bothered that much by any degree of pain, cringed. He fell back onto the floor, unconscious. She picked up his gun, and slowly moved to his prone figure. He looked unharmed, but he had been deceptive already… She poked him with the barrel. His head rolled to one side, tongue hanging out of his mouth slightly.

She looked at the gun, then at the sleeping angel. She pointed it at his head. He shifted slightly, seemingly settling into normal sleep. He curled up into a foetal position, wrapping his wings around him, snuggling into the warmth of his own plumage,smiling softly. Samus threw the gun away. She couldn't shoot _that_.

She scooped him up and carried him to the infirmary, where Snake and Captain Falcon were still recovering. They cowered into their beds as she walked past, but she paid them no attention. She set Pit down on a new bed, looked hard at him for a second, then gave him a kiss on the forehead.

"Well played, kiddo." She whispered. Then she turned to leave and find Master Hand so he could repair the wall, followed by two men's astonished gazes. As soon as she left the room, one of Pit's eyes snapped open. He looked at the door, then smiled. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, his head only throbbing a little now.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Samus walked into the deserted lunch hall. No Master Hand. She suddenly realised she was hungry, and exhausted. Most missions weren't even as stressful as what she had just been through. She walked through the doors into the kitchen, and opened the fridge. There was a messy pile of containers, a few crumbs, and a note scrawled in crayon. She didn't need to read it. Kirby again. Sighing, she started piling the debris into the bin, and found something a little heavier than expected.

An untouched sandwich, still in its plastic wrapping. She picked it up, shrugged and walked back to a table, shutting the fridge door behind her. She ripped it open and began eating. As she did, the double doors opened and Master Hand floated in, carrying a mop like a pencil. He bobbed slightly, seemingly emulating a nod, in her direction.

"Good afternoon, Miss Aran."

"Same to you, Master Hand." The hand began mopping up a few spills and such created earlier, still talking to her.

"That was quite a… shocking first impression for the newcomers today."

"You're telling me." She bit into her sandwich again. "Hope none of them are too traumatised."

"I wouldn't worry. Link managed to cover Toon Link's eyes in time, the newcomers from Ylisse are both married anyway, and… well, you took care of the three in the infirmary yourself." Samus winced at the mention of the three. She felt no sympathy for the first two, but Pit… she did feel a bit guilty about him. It wasn't really his fault, and… well, she had just been a bit too angry to think clearly.

"Oh, and by the way…" Samus jumped, snapped from her thoughts. That seemed to be happening an awful lot lately. "Wii Fit Trainer was wondering if you had ever tried Yoga before. She thought it might do wonders for you, both physically and emotionally." Samus raised an eyebrow, and looked questioningly at the hand.

"Emotionally?" Master Hand squirmed.

"Well, you know…" He started twirling the mop. "You have been known to be subject to the occasional outbreak of…"

"Yes?" Master Hand coughed, or whatever the equivalent was for a hand.

"Well…Murderous rage, to be quite frank. Earlier today, for example. I did say that gun was…"

"Don't worry, Kirby ate it." She finished her sandwich, picking up the pieces of packaging.

"Ah. Well. I suppose that means everyone's a little bit safer, eh?" He joked, with a tinge of awkwardness. He was still relatively unused to females, having lived with no-one but Crazy for the majority of his life. He never knew how to act…

"I suppose." Samus began walking to the bin in the kitchen. Master Hand sighed. He did recognise this, however.

"Is something troubling you, Miss Aran?" She stopped in her tracks in front of the bin. "If it's Master Pit's new weapons, I'll make special alterations to the physics of the battlefields…"

"No… It's not that." She sighed. "I just feel a little guilty about what happened to him, that's all. I just got angry, and… well I blamed him. There's a hole in the wall over by the Supply room, by the way."

"Noted. Well, don't worry about him. Angels heal corporeal wounds and injuries extremely quickly. Due to their metabolism, you see. In fact, they only need to sleep for a few minutes every day…" Samus interrupted him, brandishing the clear plastic packaging at him.

"So how quick are we talking here?"

"What sort of injury?"

"He smashed a 20cm deep hole in the wall with his face."

"His own?" Samus shrugged.

"Thought it would make me feel better." She explained. _"It did as well…"_ She thought. Master Hand chuckled.

"Quite considerate people, those angels. Anyway, he should have already shaken it off. To be honest, most angels wouldn't really be fazed by an injury like that. I…"

"Wait, what?" Samus shouted. "It didn't hurt him?" Master Hand recoiled.

"Probably. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find some plaster." He rushed out of the room, slightly disturbed.

Samus stayed, emotions boiling over in her head. Anger, Happiness, confusion…

She looked at the packaging still sitting in her hands. She noticed another small note was attached, only in a different style to Kirby's. She recognised it as Link's handwriting.

_Pit left this here for you. Bribed Kirby not to eat it. Asked me to write this because he only just learned how to read. Hope you didn't hurt him that badly. Link._

Samus threw it all in the bin, and continued thinking. Pit was… Pit was… She stood for a while. Eventually she laughed. A damn good trickster when he wanted to be.

**There! Done. As always, remember to review, and I'll see you next time!**


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